About Us


takebacktheisland was started by a Manhattanite and Brooklynite who want to preserve their rights to fun, freedom, and the pursuit of child-free happiness.


36 responses to “About Us

  1. We, at childfree VanillaTree, love your site. Rock on!

  2. I find it rather sad that you would direct such hatred towards babies who really have no control of what their parents do or don’t do.

    Ironically, it is people such as yourselves that have ended your own genetic line and are making sure your thoughts and beliefs are not carried forward once you are gone.

  3. I support your anti-baby stance. I have chosen not to fill my uterus with anything, and I don’t think I should have to pay the price of others who were not able to do so.
    Get your SUV stroller out of my way, shut your kid up in my favourite restaurant, and stop narrating the subway ride for everybody. And for God’s sake, clean that child’s face! It could wipe THAT all over ME if you don’t!
    I don’t like kids. I don’t like that people expect me to fawn overe theirs.
    You have a new, dedicated reader here.

  4. check out http://www.churchofeuthanasia.com
    I, unlike most of your readers, actually LOVE children. I have decided, however, that it is my moral obligation never to have any. And I loath bad and obnoxious parents as much as any of you, believe me. And living in Texas, you get a lot of ’em.

  5. Best site ever! Keep it up!
    Read michelle houllebeque (?). Great french anti-procreation writer.


    btw: JeffR, any moron can have a baby- it’s much much easier to just have sex all you want without protection and then just sit back from there until the spawn pops out.

  6. I LOVE your site! By the way, I consider hallways to be made for walking; thus, when I see a stroller in a hallway, I walk right over it. Did I say walk? I meant stomp!

  7. Very funny – and some of what you say actually has some truth. You should do a piece about how not having kids is the greenest contribution to the planet that anyone can make today – I’d be curious to know how the parents that read your site would respond to it. Think about it: having three kids is contributing maybe 240 years of carbon footprints and consumer madness to the planet, not to mention their kids, and their kids…etc. The childless Humvee-driving tiger-hunter who pours acid into rivers for fun is actually an environmental saint by comparison! 6.5 billion of us and rising…having said that, I still plan to have my own kids someday and contribute to the downfall.

  8. Ummmm…. so where did WE all come from?

    Just a bit confused. It sounds like you don’t like the SUV driving parents with Kate Spade diaper bags and the gajillion dollar stroller. Sad that the kids have to bear the brunt of the disgust that should be directed at their ‘twee parents.

    Interesting site — “crotchfruit” was a new one for me — I always heard them referred to as tricycle motors.

  9. I live in a neighborhood in Chicago that is similar to Park Slope in that it has been overrun with Stroller Nazis. I enjoy most kids (I’m a middle school English teacher, so I had better) but like many of your savvy readers, note that it is ALWAYS the parents who are to blame when children are evil. Responsible parenting is just an offshoot of being a responsible courteous member of society. And sadly, courtesy seems to have been run over by jogging strollers.

    What I want to know, is why do some parents feel like they have to bring their children everywhere? If you can afford to live in Park Slope, or in my neighborhood, you can a afford a babysitter once in a while.

  10. takebacktheisland

    Hey, GH Brewster. That was one of our first posts. Check out: https://takebacktheisland.wordpress.com/2007/05/15/save-the-planet-tie-your-tubes/

  11. The thing is, hating children is just hating people when they are young and vulnerable and need support. Kind of similar to hating old people.

    I’m suprised you aren’t more ashamed than you are (then again, this is the web, where it’s easiest to spew hate, whether rasict, misogynist, or elitist) to be such narrow little people. Just because you’re not engaged in the ongoing endeavor populating the world doesn’t mean you need to deride people who are.

    If you have issues with specific parenting practices, that’s one thing, and it’s legitimate. But what you seem to have is a pathological insecurity and bitterness toward youth. It sounds to me as though you resent sharing attention and resent witnessing tenderness . . . maybe you didn’t get what you needed when you were young, and you’re pissed off because yo ur time is over?

    In any case, children have always lived in New York (I was one of them) and what is actually relatively new is the onslaught of wanna-be Sex in the City gals like yourselves, who moved here inspired by cheesy progams that depict the city as some kind of edgy Disneyland. It’s a real city where real families have lived and worked for generation, and we’ll be here (obviously) when you’re long gone.

  12. No one here is saying that they “hate,” or even dislike, children. What they (including me, so “we”) DO hate are the actions of their incredibly overly doting, selfish-minded parents.

    Parents who refuse to properly discipline a child so that it will stop screaming, crying and throwing a tantrum in a restaurant or in line at the grocery store. The typical offending parent will tell the kind, softly and gently, about twice to stop doing the offending thing, and the child will screech “NOOOOO!!!!” and keep doing it — and the parent gives up, and proceeds to ignore the child from then on while it (the child) proceeds to pierce everyone else’s eardrums.

    When I was a small child the one word I DID NOT use with my parents was “no.” I was taught from a very, VERY early age that I was not — ever — to tell them “no,” and I knew there would be hell to pay if I ever did. Modern yuppie Bugaboo-pushing parents are simply not willing to do that.

    Additionally, pushing MASSIVE double-wide strollers down narrow, crowded sidewalks or narrow isles in stores (or anywhere indoors for that matter) is downright obnoxious. When I was a kid the $800 Bugaboo didn’t exist. Kids were in simple, 4-wheeled, minimally sized strollers that probably weighed about 7 pounds. And guess what? We were still able to be rolled down the street! Imagine that!!

    What’s altogether worse, however, and completely unforgivable, is those parents who use their strollers (large or small) as BATTERING RAMS. It is your responsibility as the stroller-pusher, the one who is pushing something significantly larger than merely your own body, and thus out of the norm in the flow of normal sidewalk traffic — and something which also contains your KID — to make sure you do NOT ram other people with it. Do not ram them in the ankles, do not ram them in the knees, hips, torsos, asses or encroach on their personal space in any fashion. PERIOD. Other pedestrians do not do so with their own bodies, and you should NOT do so with your over-extravagant monster strollers.

    I can not tell you how many times I’ve been not just tapped, but RAMMED in the ankles only to freeze in motion, turn my head at the obnoxious parent and say, “Are you fucking KIDDING me??” Sometimes they apologize, sometimes they’ll give me a snotty response, at which I’ll rip them a new one.

    The kids themselves aren’t the problem. Though, as adults going to adult-themed places, like bars, where one expects a certain atmosphere (one filled with adult people chilling out, having a few drinks and NOT dealing with drooling, spitting, screaming, barfing babies), one should be allowed a respite from all that. People go to bars precisely to AVOID those things.

    Have some common courtesy and people will show you the same. The problem is that most of this Bugaboo parents have zero.

    I live in Brooklyn Heights and here, unfortunately, the torture never ends.

  13. Just wanted to say that, as a father of a 16-month old girl, I mostly agree with your mission (if not with some of the crazed hyperbole). My wife and I hadn’t intended to reproduce, it just… happened. I’m glad that it did, and I love my little girl, but I would never imagine doing some of the things that annoyed me so much prior to my surprise parenthood. I mean, I live in Windsor Terrace, a stone’s throw from Childopolis itself (Park Slope), and parents here have such a distinct air of privilege about them. As if having a child constituted something special. (It’s only the easiest fucking thing in the world.) Stroller moms-and-dads commandeer entire restaurants and coffee joints; they refuse to make way on sidewalks with their double-and-triple loaded transports; they actually bring their kids INTO BARS, which is where I go in an effort to ESCAPE my own little person. I think it’s totally reasonable to expect that the breeders (of whom I am one) leave some refuges unplundered, and that we keep out of nightspots and taverns with our offspring.

    As for staying off airplanes (I just read the recent entry about the difficulties of flying among infants), that’s a harder nut to crack. We’ve flown with ours a couple of times, and though she’s behaved nicely (slept, basically) the potential was there for disaster. I think the airlines might offer certain childless flights, the way they used to offer non-smoking flights. But to all of you who’ve been beside a crying infant in a shared public space — airplane or restaurant or otherwise — I feel your pain. I was there, and I have not forgotten, even while so many parents have.

    One final note: The fight may not really be between breeders and non-breeders, even if it seems that way. It may be between the rich and the non-rich. My wife and I grossed under 50 grand combined last year. Somehow, I think our understanding the point of view of the non-breeders is the result of our not feeling privileged in a thousand other ways. These wealthy parents are so accustomed to pushing others around, it’s no surprise they’d want to push them to the corners of bars.

    Godspeed, you good emperors.


  14. I’m childfree, a Gen-Xer, and I work in the field of education, have been a preschool teacher, a grade school teacher, and now work on the administrative end. I really enjoy working with children however when I go to a bar, an R rated movie, and other adult venues I expect there to be adults…not screaming babies. On the subway I feel parents should have their babies in the smallest strollers possible, and/or a small baby carrier. Thank you for existing!

  15. I like kids. I just have a simple request of parents. Make sure you take them to appropriate places. Your kids need to be watched and not let them run around where they can hurt themselves or others and please don’t ask me to watch your child. You have no idea who I am and perhaps for those five minutes, you don’t want me to be their greatest influence.

  16. I’m so pissed that I didn’t start this site first. “Crotchfruit” is my new favorite word!

  17. Holy shit.

    You’ve received hate mail.

    The worst thing I’ve ever received was an invasion of mommy bloggers on our MySpace CF group.

    I found your blog through a search for “childfree” — now I fear I must link to you? Sound okay?


  18. takebacktheisland

    Thanks Steph. Go ahead and link to us. We love all our comments, especially the hate mail. Go find our valentine’s day post.

  19. I agree with David above. It’s the obnoxious parents that are the problem. From giving out trophies even to the losing team (for fear of damaging a kid’s self esteem), to those pathetic “My kid is great” bumper stickers, to planning play dates instead of just letting kids go outside and play, parenting has become some sort of obsession with control and self-aggrandizement. George Carlin has a great new special on HBO called “Life is Worth Losing” in which he addresses current parenting practices with brilliance. He starts the segment by stating “Listen, no one gives a fuck about your kids!”

  20. i’ve got 3 little brooklyn boys, but i feel ya on the gentrification and nyc getting soft – i’ll make sure that as soon as they can they will be catching tags on your front door and menacing you on the train….

  21. …and david your a sell out!!!!

  22. sorry “you’re”, please excuse my typing

  23. Bless you people. Ban the stroller here in Park Slope, I want to punt these damn kids crying in my coffee shop right now….

  24. Chatting in the park today your blog came up in discussion and the following joke was told.

    “What is better than putting a baby in a blender feet first? Putting it in head first and watching its little feets turn into little fists.”

    I like telling it by saying “feets” and curl my hands in to little fists. I feel it gives the joke dramatic effect. This joke is also good when told in foreign accents.

  25. Hi Guys,
    I love your site! I have to say though that I am surprised you have not mentioned John McCain’s running mate. She has 5 children one with Down’s Syndrome. Who cares for these children? If she is so pro- life then why is she not at home in Alaska caring for the one’s she has made and not being a governor and possibly vice- president. I personally think that she is selfish and irresponsible for having so many children but I also think she is a hypocrite. I do not think that she lives the ideals that her party would like to force us all to live by. I love kids and in my parents time children were only taken to appropriate places and knew their place and we were glad of it so we knew what to expect of the world and our parents because they were parents not assholes who have kids as an accessory. Whelping people puppies is nothing special and it is harmful to our entire way of life on this planet. Population is a bomb whose button Sarah Palin has already pushed repeatedly. Do we really want to give her the code to our nuclear arsenal? For heaven’s sake she cannot even practice the rhythm method never mind world and domestic policy. I feel terrible for these children. They were plucked from the ether and brought to this planet by adults(for the most part) and they deserve to be treated with dignity and live a child’s life while they are children. However the assholes having them cannot seem to even have a relationship that lasts with the adult they made the child with . How are they doing it with a child? They are not!!! and that is the long and short of it. If I had kids which I do not and will not ever have I certainly would not want them raised in N. Y. city. I would want them to have rocks and dirt and sticks and trees and two parents who love them. For after all it is not their fault they are here. It is the asshole adults fault they are here. So breeders get the fuck out of adult places or get a baby sitter. I would like to hear the priest’s sermon without wailing brats drowning him out and if I am going to spend the money to go to an expensive eatery or other adult venue I don’t want to be bothered by the by product of someone else’s sexual activity. Thanks for being here. I love you guys and I hope N.Y. once again returns to adults only after 5p.m. and any time in places they just do not belong.
    David, Portland OR./ Boston MA.

  26. You guys are great. I have a book coming out next fall, and I’m quoting from your blog in it. I’d like to get in touch with you. Would you mind e-mailing me?

  27. My husband and I are right there with you! He is 36 and had a vasectomy last year. I’m 30 (2 months away from 31 – oh my god, I am out of my 20’s and STILL don’t want kids. Look at that!)

    I am so sick of people asking us “why aren’t you having kids?”. I don’t go up to parents and ask them “why do you have kids?”. What makes these people think our personal decision is any of their business?

    My husband and I just try to ignore them, and think to ourselves how happy our CHILD-FREE life will continue to be!

    hehehe, love “crotchfruit”!

  28. David–

    When you stick your booboo into your wife’s ha ha and ejaculate sperm into it, and she’s fertile, a baby results.

    It doesn’t “just happen.” Knocking women up is something men do.

    If you didn’t intend to knock her up, you should have gotten a vasectomy. The fact that you didn’t empties out your righteous comment entirely. You always reserved the ability to knock a woman up, and you made sure it happened. Take responsibility for your actions and stop trying to palm them off. That’s the attitude of natalist breeder bastards, and I fucking hate it.

  29. former brooklynite

    Just stumbled across this blog, and it totally made my day. I hope this viewpoint catches on!

    In case no one’s sent you this yet, the Boston Globe ran an article about dining out with wee ones (ugh). If the comments are anything to go by, it would appear that, like you, most Bostonians prefer their restaurants without screaming and strollers.

    Be prepared though – the author’s sense of entitlement is gag-inducing.


  30. Fall is here and with it our return to The Teat Lounge in PS. I constantly feel like i should get up and leave when all the mommies decend with their buggies. Do they put off a calling all cars?

    They move furniture and squeeze you out of your seat with a smile on their face.Ugh! There you are with one cheek flat with the surface of what used to be a comfortable seat. As you franticly try to eat your over priced sandwich the group diaper change starts ON the furniture and tables. The smell, the view of some kids nut sack and wennie while your gag reflex kicks in. You can’t pewk cuz that sandwich and organic coffee cost too much.

    Then there is the school let out and the bug-eyed blond mom with her little devilish “angel” who stands on tables, video machine,coffee tables even the counter because she’s too much of princess for her little feet to ever touch the f-floor where they belong. And she is soon joined by other moms with their brats who walk on the furniture too. Of course, they document the moment of over endulgent with pictures from their camera phones.

    Do the rest of us matter? Is any business safe from these insects? Blood suckers who ruin every cool place in PS. Why does family freindly mean SHOW NO RESPECT,because you squeezed out a kid?

  31. Wow…guess this blog lost its “flavor of the month” mojo. What happened? Did the trust fund run out and you had to get real jobs?

  32. what happened? you just abruptly stopped. your blog is needed I think. Nothing against kids but there are really a lot of them right now with parents raising loads of them in Bklyn and Manhattan. … anyway, no goodbye note?

  33. You were all kids at one time so shut the hell up….
    ps: without reproduction, there will be no human race! And good luck with that”Taking NY Back” thing, cause it isn’t gona work!

  34. These people are probably all transplants. They were never kids in NY, and they’re so self-absorbed that they haven’t noticed that there are other people who live in NY besides yuppie blogger scum like themselves. FYI: NYC is not an island. When two people, one of them living in Brooklyn and the other in Manhattan, say, “Take back the island!”, no one knows what you’re talking about. Your “About Us” doesn’t even make sense.

  35. What happened to this web page?! There is still a need! Or did you get pregnant and disband it….?! Say it isn’t so! (I don’t think the intention of this is to be anti-child – it’s more anti-obnoxious-parents as I see it. I have nothing against children – it’s not their fault – it’s PARENTS who are so unbearable!) Please start a facebook page.

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