baby vs. scientology

Scientologists harass you in the Times Square subway station.
Babies will harass you anywhere they can think of.

Scientologists have tests to see how stressed you are.
Babies just make you stressed.

Scientologists believe that an evil overlord named Xenu trapped thetans in our bodies.
Babies are evil, and until they are born they are trapped in their mothers’ bodies.

Scientologists have an elite group called the Sea Org that is reserved only for their most devoted members.
Babies have playgroups, and think they’re entitled to all public space.

Scientologists attracts celebrities and random crazies.
Babies are treated like celebrities by their parents and drive everyone crazy.

Scientologists claim to be able to cure homosexuality, obesity, and career failure.
Babies cause obesity and career failure. Lucky homosexuals don’t have to worry about birth control.


5 responses to “baby vs. scientology

  1. Your anti-scientology comments make you sound bigoted and prejudiced, not funny. I’ve been a Scientologist for most of my life and there’s very little truth to the crap you have posted here. For example, Scientologists do not claim to be able to cure homosexuality, or obesity, or career failure — although they can probably help with all three if the person involved actually wants to change.

    Just because you’ve passed along a bunch of tired lies doesn’t make them truth.

    On the other hand, it IS true that Scientology does attract celebrities. Jenna Elfman is hot, and so is Catherine Bell, and Anne Archer. Maybe they took a stress test and actually got rid of some of that stress in Scientology.

    Kirstie Alley claims Scientology saved her life – twice.

    Hey, it’s your blog – you’re gonna say whatever you want. But realize that real people read it, and some of them are Scientologists like me who are happy with what their religion does for them.

  2. Scientology is not a religion. It is a scam.

  3. That’s amusing. The Scientology crmie syndicate is having to close its offices and consolidate the business offices that they have left because the insane criminals are finding it difficult to locate uninforme “raw meat,” in the crime syndicate words, to keep rooking and swindling.

    The insane criminals running the crime syndicate are turning in to a Real Estate company, trying to dump whatever money they can in to propery to try to soft land their eventual destruction. When the insane crooks start going to prison, they will start fighting and feeding off of each other for the scraps while the rest try to stay out of prison, and these empty buildings that they’re buying up in crumbling neighborhoods and in thiird world countries are their hege.

    It’s funny. The Scientology crime syndicate has at most some 40,000 customers remaining world wide. Their “NarCONon” quack medical fraud continues to be the only money making fraud since there are still government morons out there who don’t do their homework to find out what “NarCONon” actually is.

    When these insane criminals quack about not having enough room to put their remaining customers, I have to laugh. Drive past any of their business offices and they’re virtually empty.

    The ARSCC and Anonymous have come a long way toward destroying that organized crime syndicate completely, doing the job that law enforcement and politicians are supposed to be doing: protecting the public.

    My opinions only and only my opinions.

  4. Careful, Adam, they might put you in the RPF.

  5. It’s also true that L. Ron Hubbard said the best way to make money was to invent a religion (paraphrasing).

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