Dear TBTI Readers,
Yesterday’s post was indeed an April Fool’s Day joke. Thanks for sticking with us, and now we’re back to our regular baby hating schedule. And where better to start than with a very loathsome Manhattan mommy?
There are many reasons for New Yorkers to hate Sarah Jessica Parker. For a long time I hated her for her role starring in and producing Sex and the City and being the horseface that launched a million twits.
But now, as the movie version of her despicable show is about to come out, our girl SJP is doing the rounds for publicity. And her favorite topic, besides ugly Pat Field clothes? Her kid. Five year old James Broderick (daddy is Matthew “Ferris Bueller” Broderick). People magazine lets her get away with all kinds of dumb, gushy comments about her kid. The blog Crazy Days and Nights does a great job snarking on the interview, so we’re just going to quote liberally (parts in italics are SJP, the rest is commentary).
“He’s very into Barack Obama. On his own!”Oh, really? So your kid who is 5 right now, sits in front of the television and while he is debating whether or not he should eat his booger he is also deciding on the merits of the upcoming US Presidential election. No doubt he split screens Fairly Odd Parents with Hardball and Hannity & Colmes just to keep abreast on the situation. After analyzing all the candidates he selected Obama.
“He’s really, truly into this election,” she says of her little guy’s interests. “He’s come to this conclusion on his own based specifically on Barack’s gender. It’s that deep. He’s a fan and a true supporter of Barack Obama.”
How can a five year old be really and truly into an election? I bet if you walked up to that kid right now and asked him who were the three candidates left he wouldn’t be able to tell you. I guarantee he doesn’t even know what the hell a president is. Yes, I know your kid is a genius so don’t e-mail me. Every kid is super and fantastic and brilliant and gorgeous. That is why there are no ugly people in the world and everyone is a rocket scientist.
Aside from politics, Parker, 43, says James loves building things and spending time with his mommy and daddy.
I can’t believe People used that sentence in a magazine that is actually published. You have got to be shitting me. It sounds like a f**king Christmas letter you would send out to all your friends at the holidays. I swear to God the reporters at People must have the most intense orgasms when they write this crap or else why on earth would they do it? Could be coke. Didn’t think about that. Get them all addicted to crack and they only get some when they write something which eliminates any dignity they once had as journalists.