white people like babies, book deals, and ruining manhattan

 

It takes a trend piece in the Washington Post to get to the heart of what’s wrong on our island–white people. Sure, www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com is the funniest thing to ever happen to the internet and will be perhaps the second best book ever (let’s not forget our bible NO KID.) While we contend it’s all parents dumb enough to raise their offspring on our island, we must admit that white babies are the worst. It’s the white babies or well their white parents who take their offspring to places they should never roll (bars, bookstores, outside). And it’s just going to get worse:

 “The number of children younger than 5 in Manhattan has increased about 30 percent since 2000, said William H. Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution. The increase is driven by white toddlers, whose numbers have gone up by 60 percent, according to the 2000 census and the 2006 American Community Survey, he said. For the first time since the 1960s, young white children outnumber their black or Hispanic counterparts in Manhattan, demographers say. “

While we learned on Friday that microwaving your baby to a non-offensive ethnicity is not the answer, perhaps these white Manhattanites can do what they do best and roll on out of New York and go gentrify some down and out suburb.  

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