Discuss how you much you love the NuvaRing and ask parents if they would like a free sample.
- Engage in the most convenient and inappropriate illegal behavior available. I recomend nunchuck fighting.
- Ask parents if you can hide your stash in the kid’s diaper in case the bar gets raided again.
- Mention how you read this great website called Take Back the Island.
- Ask parents if child was an accident, since only people stupid enough to get knocked up would take a baby to a bar
- Lock child in the cleaning supply closet.
- Call CPS.
- Stand outside the bar and pretend to be a bouncer. Tell parents that they can come in but the child must stay outside.
- Switch baby bottle with bourbon bottle. Wait for hilarity to ensue.
- Ask parent if you can hold baby. Give baby to bartender and ask him if he has a blender and knows how to make a dead baby cocktail–on the rocks of course.
- Order flaming shot. Stand near child and lose grip.
- Sit the parents down and have a heart-to-heart about the appropriate way to raise a child and how their choices not to keep the child caged deeply offend you.