pardon me sir, would you mind watching my kid?


Loyal takebacktheisland reader and our Patron Saint wrote in with this horror story:

“So i was at the CVS in union square the other day. Ran in to get some toothpaste and that was all. Of course, there was a line about 8 people deep, leading all the way into the candy isle. For some reason, cashiers at chain pharmacies work phenomenally slower than at the ol’ mom&pop. Anyways, I digress. So there I was, waiting patiently in line when this woman pushes her stroller past me with what had to be a 4 year old tot in it. Maybe 3. I dunno, it was almost too big for the stroller so that tells me it should be moving under its own power. The woman also has TWO GIGANTIC BAGS over the back of the stroller too. She wrestles it by me, knocking shit off the shelf and when she’s finally got the stroller in place behind me, she comes up to me and says “If the line moves, can you bring my stroller with you?” and like that she was off to the isle with the large ziplock baggies. I was dumbfounded. The woman in front of me turned around and said “that’s pretty trusting of her. She doesn’t know if you’re a murderer or what.” To which I replied “I know. I might even be a kidnapper. I could probably get a lot of money for her on eBay.” To which the woman slowly backed away from me. The line moved forward one person. I edged up a bit. The line moved forward a second person and finally the irresponsible, impatient, incredible rude child abandoning mother returned.”

Extra large ziplock baggies: $6.99. Selling a child on Ebay: priceless.


2 responses to “pardon me sir, would you mind watching my kid?

  1. yo is this site all about getting rid of babies?

  2. Not getting rid of babies, just getting them out of New York and into the suburbs.

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