news flash: babies suck (film at 11)

Sorry, we’ve been gone for a while. We’ve been on a recent research trip with some positive as well as troubling statistics. Throughout the country people are jumping on the no kid wagon. Witness this study:
-in 1980, only 10 percent of women voluntarily chose to be childless
-in 2000 19 percent of women have joined team TBTI

And for good reason.

Good Housekeeping did a survey in 2003 that said that:
-90% of women said that children damaged their careers
-61% said that kids damaged their family lives
-60% said that kids caused them to lose friendships
-50% said that kids damaged their sex lives
-12% said that kids caused separation or divorce

But here’s the troubling part. While women all over the country are catching on, New York doesn’t get. Not only do we have that Storked bitch trying to get into the city (you can’t cover up Jersey, sweetie, no matter how hard you try), but the New York Observer reports that.

In just five years, between 2000 and 2005, the number of children under five living in Manhattan ballooned more than 32 percent, according to Census figures.

God, this is what happens when fucking Sex and the City starts getting syndicated. People think they can live in Manhattan AND have a career AND have Manolos AND have a baby. Guess what guys? Only Miranda did that. And no one ever volunteers to be the Miranda. People thought she was a lesbian for like two seasons and then she wound up marrying the one-balled dude and having to give his mom sponge baths.

Remember that the next time you see a kidlet in a goddamn Maclaren on the subway during rush hour. GIVING YOUR MOTHER IN LAW A SPONGE BATH.

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