take back the island, uk edition

One of our spies reports from England today:

I was worried that London would be just like New York, but I’m happy to see that Europeans (or at least English people) have a way better sense of how to treat their kids in public. Even though there are little kidlets all over the place, they’re quieter and more restrained. They’re not all wearing Crocs and running around without supervision. One kid tried to be all annoying on the subway, but his mom immediately stopped him and said “You’re being rude, and you’re bothering everyone else.” It was AWESOME. The only kids who were hellish and irritating were, unfortunately, the tourist kids. Way to make sure that bad reputation Americans have keeps being spread around. Maybe kids in England are less annoying because they have that British stoic character. Or because their names are Emma and David instead of, like, Romaine and Francescina. It seems like the parents here also think their babies are babies, not little princes and princesses. Maybe having actual royalty around keeps people from thinking their kids are royalty. God Save the fucking Queen.

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One response to “take back the island, uk edition

  1. It isn’t just the babies. Americans up to age 35 can easily be detected whilst abroad by their penchant for North Face apparel and bags, Nalgene bottles and nasal braying.

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