best hero of the week ever

This blog post from VH1’s “Best Week Ever” is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I don’t think us describing it would do it justice, so we’re just printing it verbatim:

All summer long, there have only been a handful of movies that I’ve really been looking forward to, and The Bourne Ultimatum was at the top of my list. The combination of an ass-kicking Matt Damon, perma-sassy Julia Stiles, and not-so-secret-crush David Strathairn was too much to resist. So a friend and I headed to my favorite theater in New York, Sony Lincoln Cinemas, to catch the 9 PM show last night. Once there, we found out the 11 o’clock showing would be on the only mega-gigantic screen in the entire theater, and decided to wait it out. It made more sense for us to kill 2 hours getting tanked in the self-help section of Barnes & Noble (we can never have too many copies of My Mother, My Self), rather than watching it on a screen roughly the size of a three-way science board. We exchanged our tickets and got to drinking.

Before we knew it, 11 PM had arrived! We grabbed 2 of the best seats in the gigantic theater and watched in amazement as, one by one, each seat began filling up. “Don’t these people have jobs?” we wondered aloud while we texted our bosses sick for the next day. The lights dimmed, the audience took one collective last pre-movie breath, and after 47 minutes of previews… the movie finally began.

And that’s when we heard it.

The gurgling of a baby.

And we’re not talking the sweet, on-and-off gurgling of a baby who is in and out of a nap.

We’re talking a very small baby babbling extremely loudly throughout the entire movie, since babies usually have no concept of what a movie is, much less manners. Usually, that’s the parents’ job. And one would think that most parents would know better than to bring a 2 month old to a movie of this nature, especially at 11 PM on a Sunday.

You can read the exciting conclusion to the story here.

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