Baby vs. Paris Hilton

We’ve been good students all week. See all the posts, appreciate the snark. It’s hard work, our brows are sweaty. In keeping with our diligence, we thought we’d challenge ourselves and this is a real toughy. Baby vs. Paris Hilton. Few things are more hateable than Paris. But don’t fret, we didn’t let baby win. We put on our thinking caps and came up with a few:Babies roam free annoying us all the time.Paris is locked away in jail (or at least headed back there).Babies carry disease. You can get sick for being in the same room as one of them.You only get diseases from Paris Hilton if you sleep with her.Paris collects $50,000 per party appearance, obviously having her there does somethingBabies ruin all parties.Paris is socially acceptable to mock, even to her face, in public. (Just ask Sarah Silverman.) We have to mock babies on the interweb and get hate mail.Paris brought the world many enjoyable posts on Go Fug Yourself.Babies bring no enjoyment to anyone. There you go. Five reasons why Paris wins. That was hard work. We’re going to reward ourselves by drinking all weekend and not wearing underwear–we get more pleasure out of it knowing that Paris can’t.

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4 responses to “Baby vs. Paris Hilton

  1. Pingback: us weekly glorifies babies for doing absolutely nothing « Take Back the Island

  2. hahahha!! What a skank!!!

  3. Pingback: Baby Names » Baby vs. Paris Hilton Take Back the Island

  4. Megan McMillan

    This picture is absouluty gross but paris hilton is a slut and this is what she would do for her
    carer

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