kids push my buttons


Yesterday I was in the elevator leaving work. The elevators at my office are ridiculously slow, so I pushed the “Lobby” button in order to get the doors to close faster.

The little kid holding his mommy’s hand yelled at me as the doors shut. “THE BUTTON’S ALREADY BEEN PRESDED!” he shouted. (Yes, presded. Little kids with lisps are not charming.) He felt the need to reiterate his statement. “DON’T PWESS THE BUTTON.”

I gave the kid my patented death glare. Usually only boyfriends get that one. Because I was feeling charitable, I didn’t say anything to the child’s mother. However, as everyone gets out at the lobby, I hear the kid’s mom say, “It’s OK, honey. Some people just get aggravated easily.”

“Some people get aggravated easily?” Lady, it is not a result of some character flaw of mine. Your kid should know better than to yell at strangers in enclosed spaces. It is not cute or precocious. It is fucking rude. And you know how your kid should know better? You should teach him. Maybe you can find time after his speech therapy classes.


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