So this gives you the excuse to be discourteous? I can’t speak for these ladies, only myself, but that’s really all I ask. There are places that are appropriate for kids (science museums, the park, Friendly’s) and places that aren’t (restaurants without kids’ menus, sex shops, bars, Madonna concerts – yes! Some idiot brought their 6-year-old to Saturday’s show!). There seem to be no boundaries or places for adults to be adults with other adults any more. And sometimes we get tired of hearing about your damn kids, so have something else to talk about.

No. There is no place safe from our children.

On one hand, I find something touching about your Quixotic efforts to hold back the tide of children. On the other, I smirk to think that you haven’t a chance. We are a force of nature. You are that crotchety old man yelling at everyone to stay off his lawn, minus a few wrinkles and the sans-a-belt pants pulled up to his chest.

You will end your days in a rest home, submitting to daily bouts of rage over our visiting grandchildren and great grandchildren. You will complain that they make too much noise, and the Nurses won’t care because they are too busy cooing over our cute little poppets to change your diaper, let alone listen to your rants. The only time people will talk to you is when you bury your seething hatred long enough to feign interest in the exploits of their grandkids.