park slope parents use sex shop opening as forum for too much information

If a tree grew in Brooklyn, would it exist if no one was there to blog about it?Sadly we’ll never know because it seems that half the fun of being a Brooklyn parent is creating a blog or logging onto Park Slope parents to share about one’s self-righteously “cool” parenting philosophy. The most recent example is Toys in Babeland’s (I love that store. My vibrator will never get me pregnant!) decision to open up in the Slope. I guess they chose to cater to the lesbians and seemed to ignore the fact that all these married people stopped boinking. Instead of getting their bees in the expected bonnet, as the New York Post reports, the Park Slope parents decided to use this opportunity to do what they do best: They took it to the interweb. Here’s some disgusting clips that NY magazine found on some of those breeder blogs and forums:

• “My wife and I have a weird thing goin…I pretend I’m Marty Markowitz and she’s Randi Weingarten. Our slave boyfriend, The What, is tied up to a big statue of Atlantic Yards. It gets kinky from there.”
• “What a perfect coupling. It makes sense for those times when you really want the 3rd kid but have lost the ‘fire.’”
• “Fantastic news! And people complain about the gentrification of Park Slope.”
• “Actually, if you have the confidence enough to actually work the use of a sex toy INTO sex with your wives/girlfriends, it can be really, really hot.”
• “The dildo I purchased is bigger than DH and he is a tad jealous.”
• “Will the Toys in Babeland allow strollers?”

All I’m gonna say is if you feel the need to write about it then you’re probably not…